My 15-year-old favorite niece (I only have one niece) came to visit from Japan a few weeks before the rest of the family joins her. She is the oldest of the three children so when she was born, I became an auntie.
My niece has been spending most of her time with my brother-in-law’s family that lives only a few minutes away and having a great time with her young cousins, but we have been able to spend lots of quality time with her as well and it’s been such a joy.
All her life I have been living here in the States, in another country away from my family, so spending time with her is so special and precious and maybe that’s why it feels like she turned into this beautiful sweet lady almost overnight.
It’s been extra special being able to practice the guitar and sing with her when she spends the night at our house. She sings beautifully.
Like I said, it is not too often that I get to have this kind of “auntie time” and I LOVE being an auntie and that’s why I want to say “thank you” to my sister and brother-in-law for having these beautiful kids. I don’t have any children so I also want to say another “thank you” to them for giving my parents the gift of making them very happy grandparents.
I had always been the “baby” of the family and I am the type of person that likes to be taken care of…. and maybe that is why I didn’t feel a deep desire to be a mother.
But once I got married… and felt that my parents were expecting grandchildren… and felt myself getting older by the second… and I do think babies are lovely… and Hiro LOVES children… so I started to feel like I want to have children too and that I would love to experience the love that people feel for their children.
But then, we had a hard time getting pregnant and decided to go through the IVF process about three years ago. After spending a lot of money and going through the long process, the result was ❌ and of course I was disappointed and sad. To be honest, for a little while after that I would feel a sting in my heart when I saw my friends with their children or seeing beautiful pregnant women. My doctor told me that I have a great chance of getting pregnant and strongly recommended that I try the process again but I just couldn’t find the desire to.
I truly believe that “things happen for a reason” so I wanted to take some time to feel why I wasn’t getting pregnant and I noticed that the desire to get pregnant was not from the DEEPEST part of me and I was feeling like I SHOULD be a mother. Being born as a woman and being married, people assume you are going to have children but…. hey, I tried and it didn’t happen so I wanted to be at peace with that fact and now I have the desire to fully enjoy my life as a child-less woman.
There is an abundance of children around me thanks to my friends that I can enjoy playing with and being an auntie to, and of course I can enjoy being an auntie to my niece and nephews.
I remember a long time ago my friend that I worked with was married with no children and she explained that she decided not to have children because she knew she was too selfish to be a mother and I remember thinking that was so responsible of her.
Motherhood is the most important and difficult job in the world and I’m sure the most rewarding too. I will not be going through motherhood but I am definitely enjoying my auntiehood… so one more time, THANK YOU to my sister and my brother-in-law for giving me that gift.